Nature is calling!

@Random

The novel Kite Runner made me remember my childhood days. Oh, no.. I'm NOT going to list down what all crazy things I did as a kid - Rather relate 'one' childhood habit, we are all aware of, to how different professionals could probably do today.

Disclaimer: Just a pure imagination! Laugh it out and ignore - Any resemblance to reality is purely coincidental.

In many instances, kids ask for loo, not because they want to, but because they are sick and bored of the class - They just want to go out, roam a bit and have some fresh breeze. The process by which you go about asking your teacher for loo depends on the class, school, the mood of the teacher and the timing. For e.g. it's highly unlikely that the teacher allows you, if you ask him when he's in a bad mood or when you ask close to the interval. Most importantly, you should have earned the trust of the teacher that you are genuine - You can prove the same by one of these (a) study well in the class or be the teacher's favorite (b) ask for loo less frequently (c) last but not the least, you should have pissed in the class room in the past - this is probably the best way to put real threat to the teacher - The moment the teacher sees you asking for loo, he says "please go ahead.. you don't need to ask.. just please go".

The process of asking gets more sophisticated as you move up in class as well - In class 1 or 2, you raise your hand showing 1 or 2 fingers. By high school, you write your need in a paper with details such as name, purpose, time level of urgency etc. Ok, don't get nostalgic about your pissing days.. let's come back to the blog..

Just an imagination on how the following set of professionals would go about on the issue of Loo with the superiors (or managers or clients or customers)..

1. A Software Guy X: To his colleague Y, "Man, this manager is sucking big time.. He doesn't even let me take a break for loo or sutta.. He goes 20 times everyday in the name of networking or 1:1.. But when it comes to me, he says I should work more efficiently by avoiding breaks.. Now I found an idea.. an idea that can change my life.. I will tell him that innovations happen in rest rooms and that I got my best ideas when I'm pissing." Y replies - "Seems like an idea, let me know if it works".. 1 week later, X's tables and computers are being shifted.. X's manager smiling to his glory and telling to Y, "You know what! X is getting a special desk, a place where his brain works the best.. where he becomes very innovative.."
2. A Marketing Professional: To public, through his ad: Mom says to her kid "Aaj Loo-na bandh" - Kid is very upset.. goes to upstairs and pisses on neighbours flower pots.. comes back and sits quietly on his chair.. Mom looking at his gloomy mood says "Ok, drink the milk.. go & loo". Kid smiles and says "Neighbour ka phone aayaa thaanaa.." It finishes with "Vishwas karo, Pandiware bathroom fittings! Never ever your kid has to loo on neighbors' plants"
3. An Investment Banker X: To his VP Y, "Mr. Y, Do you think we should really go and suggest the client to buy Sulabh & Co? The client is already in deep sh**. Buying that Looing company on top of it will kill the company". VP with his sarcastic smile, "Who cares about that man? Market is heavily undervaluing Sulabh & Co. They should definitely consider acquiring. We should pitch as if it's a high value add for them. We can say them if required, we will do a loo show in the road, and help the founders raise money"
4. A Consultant: To the client, "You need to build a chain of restrooms throughout the country - Not only does it give you an unparalleled competitive advantage, but also helps to backward integrate your operations in a cost efficient way. In addition, your sales people would be all the more happy to use them from all strategic locations - It gives them the extra edge which your competitors lack currently. Our preliminary evaluations reveal that your top-line will grow by 52% and bottom-line (no pun intended) by a whooping 133%. In the past, we have worked with many such clients and have developed a proprietary framework - We suggest you hire us - We will visit all the locations spread across multiple geographies, verify whether it's worth investing by actually looing"
5. A Politician: To the speaker in the assembly, "Loo-ing is my birthright. How can you just let only people from XYZ party piss and bar us from doing so? Till our last breath, we will fight for our birth-right. And members of XYZ are making it an unnecessary political issue - that we are not delivering our duty. Let me assure you, Mr. Speaker - for every 5 mins I spent on Loo, I worked for 10 mins extra in the office. We do a great service to the country by frequenting to loo. Our party have a great tradition and ideology on looing. If anyone comes and says we shouldn't loo, I will cut his.. hand"
6. The Super Star Rajni: Everyone is surprised that Superstar never asks for loo. They ask for his secret. He says in his own style "Naan eppo poven, enga poven-nnu yaarukkum theriyaathu.. aanaa, poga vendiya nerathula kandippaa poven" ("When I go, Where I go, nobody knows! But when I have to go, I will go!") He finishes it with, "Aandavan solraan, Arunachalam mudikkuraan" ("God proposes, Me disposes"). While this dialogue was going on, some random fellow rings the bell in the near by temple - Oops, superstar says "Sollittaan" ("He said so") and starts pissing in the same place where was he was standing.

@Regular

Jokes apart, "Kite Runner" was an amazing read. It took me to the country which the world today is associating with Terrorism. It gives a glimpse of how the terrorism and wars have affected common people.. I would highly recommend it for anyone.

Two Nasiruddin Shah movies this week - Firaaq and Barah aana - While the former is very serious as it takes the sensitive topic of common people behavior in Gujrat post the 2002 communal rites (the directorial debut of Nandita Das), the latter is about the life of 3 people in the bottom of the pyramid: how they hate their menial jobs & are being exploited by their bosses and how they end up doing what they have never imagined in their life - A bit funny but makes you realize the hard realities of life of poor people. Both are good short movies without item numbers of random females or heroes dancing with his chest open for public view. Watch them, if you have a flavor for them.

Visited Elephanta Islands after being in Mumbai for 9 months. Amazing place. It's a 1 hr 15 mins of boat ride from Gateway of India. You can spend a couple of hours in the island - Apart from the awesome caves and carvings, you get to see nice Indian handicrafts made of marbles, stones, silk, wood etc. If you ever visit to Mumbai, don't miss this.