Thursday, December 31, 2009

Life is what you say it IS!

This is the 50th post since the birth of "Weekly Whims". It all started off with this post where I resolved to write 50 posts in 2009. This is the 51st post of the year and I can claim that I fulfilled the only resolution of 2009 . Yes, not all the postings were 100% on-time, nevertheless managed to complete a half century! Not all shots were perfect but still not out and kicking.

It wasn't easy for someone like me who is not a professional writer. Yes, definitely not for a lazy bum like me who used his bike to travel distances less than 100 meters. While some posts made sense, some others seemed like fillers. For many weekly posts, I didn't know what to write till I force myself to write, which made me question myself "Why such a resolution? Why such a stupidity?" The answer was always "You said that this is what you will do. Just do it!"  Life is what you say it is!

Sure, we can't control everything that happens to us every time. But with whatever random cards we receive from the shuffled pack, we can use our intelligence, judgement, common-sense, intuition and emotions to make it an enjoyable and meaningful game. Ultimately, it's not just about winning the game.. it's all about how well we play the game with what we are provided and what we receive.

Happy New Year - 2010! Have a great year ahead. :)

PS: 2010 will not have a resolution of 50 posts. But will keep the blog rolling as much as possible.

Mad?! You Or I?

Where are you from?

When I face this question from people outside Tamil Nadu, I have to explain my place with its circumference. So, my answer invariably goes as "Do you know this place called Madurai?

In spite of frequent visits, Madurai is one of the most confusing cities to me - Not because of its concentric, lotus-like layout of the central part, but because of its well-convoluted & well-congested roads, and innumerable one-ways! Whatever direction you go, you find temple towers, textile shops, mobs of people and idli kadais! I guess the Idli shops gave the city its stature "Sleepless City".

I think the name "Madurai" should resonate with "shopping". First time visitors of Chennai's T.Nagar are invariably surprised by its crowd and copycat shops - Not the one who is familiar to Madurai! If your town is within a circumference of 100 KM of Madurai and if your family has at least 1 woman, you are dead! In the name of shopping, you would be roasted like the poor little thing that is pierced into the grills of the chicken kababs! Just imagine.. You can't complain much; The grilling is slow, grueling and doesn't have any visibility of completion; You just keep going around the same place again and again! When needed, they scrap a portion of your ass(et) i.e. money. You will not be spared till everything can be completely scrapped out of you.

Historically, the city is associated with its great culture  -especially amazing temples and tamil poetry. Yes, the temples still remain the same. I doubt the "tamil" aspect of the city. The city's slang doesn't have any resemblance to the poetic tamil. Yes, it's not as scr**ed as Madras Tamil - Nevertheless bad enough that one finds it difficult to associate it with "Sanga Thamizh".

From ancient times, the city is also known for its valor and bravery. I think it's true till date. People's weapons speak more  than their mouths - Be it the local thug or the women at home! No wonder, the city has one of the most treacherous political mafias and goondaism. So, given an option, try not to get into any conflict with Madurai-tes. ;)

It's anybody's guess why I like the city irrespective of all its pitfalls. :)

Saturday, December 19, 2009

More precious than Gold!

A friend of mine (who happens to be a working-woman) once asked me - 'I am working. How can my prospective mom-in-law ask me 50 savarans of gold as dowry? I like this guy but this is ridiculous. I can't budge to all his mom's demands just because I like him.' 

Fair point. Why should she? But.. till her marriage, she probably can't openly fight with her prospective in-laws. It's a bit ironic that even today, the dowry system hasn't been uprooted in many sections of the society. How can we eradicate it? As the famous dialogue goes - to beat the system, you have to be part of the system. How about showing the greedy in-laws a detailed financial model showing them that the girl is much more precious than the 50 savarans? Here is what the numbers speak.

  • Ideally, if you are a working woman earning around 20,000 per month, you should ask your in-laws apporx. 1000 savarans (979 to be precise!). Suppose they say that they want 50 savarans, subtract it out and ask for 929!
  • The Net Present Value - NPV of of the working woman (only the salary included)  is Rs. 1.3 Cr while that of 50 Savarans is mere Rs.6.6 lakhs. Nearly 20 times more precious!

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  • In Year 2040, the girl's Cumulative Future Value is around Rs. 13 Crores, while that of the 50 savarans is just 66 lakhs.

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If you need the excel sheet to support these figures, let me know (for guys: to convince your parents not to ask for dowry.. for girls: (a) to make their in-laws feel embarrassed when you tell them your NPV or cumulative future value.. (b) to convince your hubby on why he should let you go to work (i.e. if you prefer to work). And if you are a non-working woman, don't bother - your monetary value could be very high as well considering the insane amount of household work you do - from teaching your kids to cleaning the vessels to managing your in-laws!

Hope the figures keep the greedy people's mouth shut!

Assumptions behind the model:

  • Gold price assumed at current market prices. Inflation assumed at 8% based on historic data from 1970 to 2009. If we ignore the 2008-09 boom in gold price, the figures could be still lower.
  • Girl's salary per month is Rs. 20,000/- with an increment of 10% per year and every 5 years, she gets a bonus of additional 10%. This is still conservative as wage inflation for Indians is as high as 15-20% these days.
  • The girl's NPV calculation is very conservative as well. No retirement or pension benefits assumed. Assumed to work only till the age of 55.

Why should Air India be sold?

Because..

  • The flight rarely takes off on-time. When it lands, there shall be guaranteed delay! God save you if it is your connecting flight!
  • The captain realizes that the flight is out of reserve oxygen just before the take-off (and tries to fill it in 20 mins but fails even after an hour..)
  • The air ghostesses are lazy, completely out of shape (and at times, a rude). Also, they are as oblivious as the passengers on any information about the flight or its timings.
  • People running the airlines don't have any intension of making it profitable.. Here is a sample: Only airlines with Non-refundable tickets priced higher than refundable tickets..

You need either the Passion or a Focus on Financials or a Sense of Service (to the society) to run an organization. They killed the Passion of Tatas to nationalize the airlines. Of course, they ensured it's running consistently in loss (who cares? after all, it's tax payers' money!). Forget about the sense of Service as the word doesn't feature in the airlines' dictionary. High time to sell the airlines!

Thursday, December 03, 2009

730000000000000000000!

Late in the night, a thief stumbles up on a rich man, takes out his revolver and demands 'Quick.. Get me all your money'.  The man replies 'Do you know who I am? I am the Minister of this country.'  The thief replies, 'Ok then, get all my money'  This may be an old joke, but relevant to this blog.

730000000000000000000. Can you even tell how much rupees this could be? Difficult indeed! According to outlook magazine (source), it's just the portion of Indian public money (in rupees) identified as scam, corruption and other illegal forms since 1992.  I was so surprised and disturbed when I read that the money, swindled by some politician, is equivalent to 1/5th of his state's budget. It hits hard as it is one of the poorest states of the country with significant tribal population.

Last week, happened to watch my all-time favorite movie 'Indian' again. What can we really do about these corrupt guys? Capital punishments as in the movies 'Indian' or 'Anniyan'? Don't think any amount of moral lesson is going to change these people.. How about stripping them and run over by road rollers? Stone to death? Throw into hungry tiger's cage? Burn alive? Peel the skin off like an orange? And spray salt and pepper on it? Let the elephant to beat him to death? Suck the blood till nothing is left? Place innumerable needles all over the body? Hang upside down till he dies of hunger? Treat them like a dry fish? Freeze them to death? Tie the 2 ends of his body with the trucks moving in opposite directions? Use like a door-mat in Mumbai local trains or in crowded stations like Dadar or Andheri during peak hours? Chop them into pieces, prepare special hyderabadi human biriyani and serve it hot to animals in the zoo?

All these may sound very violent or inhumane. But can these beings ever be considered human beings?? Also, it's not as if they don't understand what they are doing.. conscious blunders.. they are very much aware that it's against the welfare of the people and society.. Still they do it to satiate their limitless greed.. Moral science, Justice, Systems, Policing, Karma, God etc won't help! Get the force called fear to drive away this greed!  Even if the killing is cruel, it's justified as it serves a greater purpose of teaching an important lesson to the rest of the country!