Mentoring Mentality

Experience is the best teacher in life! Yeah, but life is too short to experience everything in first person! So, fortunates are the ones who get right mentors. These mentors have the ability to positively impact our lives – They guide, motivate, direct, suggest, enlighten, correct, criticize, comment and most importantly share their experiences! The extreme case: they become our living role models. But getting the ‘right’ mentor is not that easy – He or She needs to (a) Understand you (your personality, ambition, likes & dislikes etc) (b) Understand (and have good experience & insights in) the environment / field in which you would like to be mentored (c) Have good people skills & a genuine willingness to help without selfish motives (d) Time (e) Have a reasonably long term association with you (i.e. doesn’t make sense to have different mentors every other month!)

I set my mind to think on “Apart from satisfying those hard-to-meet conditions, how can we get the right mentor?” Few tips I could think of:

• Be open and “listen” to what people have to say for me, be it my workplace, home or any social groups
• Initiate talks with senior / elder people – Seek their advise, Listen to their experiences
• Choose people whom I have high regard for – Unless I respect him, it’s tough to follow what the mentor says
• Do the conversations with him make me think deeply? Do they change my perceptions or course of actions which ultimately yielded positive results?
• Am I able to connect with the person?

Oops, I had so many people helping and guiding me at different points in life, but what about life-long mentors? I couldn’t think of any one other than my sister. Hmmm, I guess I should take the initiative, as the Tamil proverb says “Crying child gets the milk”.

Couple of things before I close down: Seek mentors’ help, use their advice, but preserve your individuality and the ability to analyze & make a personal decision. Be willing to genuinely mentor and help others, since the world runs on the principle of GIGO (Good In Good Out / Garbage In Garbage Out)!

Force called 'Fear'

Utter Darkness. Bottomless Pit. Sky-high hill. Ultra-speed wind. Abyssal Ocean. Mysterious Sound. Poisonous Snake. Hungry Tiger. Angry Elephant. Man-eating Shark. Black Cat. Giving a Speech. Final Exam. Important Interview. Ghost. Skeleton. Blood. Death. List goes on! For human beings, the entity that unifies the list is "Fear" and its related cousins viz phobia, panic, scare, terror, guilt, paranoia, nightmares, anxiety & worry etc.

The list is understandable. But I was baffled by my friends' fear for getting into 3-ft H2O, jumping from 4 ft height, riding on 100cc bike at 60 kmph, climbing on a small rock, talking to a Prof & walking in darkness. "WTH", I thought. But my friend gave a profound statement - It's quite natural; everyone has his/her own customized list of fears and no fear is inferior or superior. Yes, it made sense and I tried to enumerate my list - Oops, quite a long one! (Let me not list them here to make you realize how stupid my fears could be!)

Three questions kept lingering in my mind: (1) What exactly is fear? (2) Can one be fearless? Rather, should one be fearless? (3) How to avoid unnecessary fear? Being an expert neither in Psychology nor in Physiology, I can't give a comprehensive scientifically-proven answer. Neverthless, I will make an attempt, since people keep saying "Don't fear" [Nice tamil quotes like - 'Anjathey', 'Accham Thavir', 'Accham illai, accham illai, accham enba-thillaieh; Uchi meethu vaan idinthu veezh-gindra pothilum accham illai', 'Accham enbathu madamaiyadaa, anjaamai dravidar udamaiadaa']

I would explore Fear in 2 different ways. First: fear spans past, present and future. Foundation of fear is PAST - We start developing fear out of our personal experience or what others tell us. That way, our society, upbringing, parents and friends play a major role in what we fear for. When your father keeps saying "Never climb rocks. You will slip down", you inherently develop a fear for rocks & heights. (Side Note: In Tamil movie "Thenali", the hero Kamal Hasaan has countless phobias thanks to his bad childhood experience) Going by this logic, fear is not completely natural to human beings. Fear is an experiential emotion in PRESENT - there are lots of physical & psychological changes that happen when we fear. Fear is associated with uncertainty about FUTURE. When there is certainty, there isn't any fear - A person sentenced to death knowing the exact date, time, place and the procedure of dying won't fear for death as much as a normal person. Second: Major stems of fear - (a) Fear of Death / physical discomfort (b) Fear of Rejection / Failure (c) Fear of losing one's respect / ego / identity (d) Fear of losing an external entity (e.g. loved ones, money, motor bike)

Like many others, fear is a double-edged sword. Being fearless is great, but it's stupidity to believe we shouldn't fear for everything. In one sense, fear stifles our improvement, fends off taking bold decisions, avoids changes & exploring new paths, obstructs stretching oneself. It eats away our productive time, brings in stress & tension, makes us poor-performers (esp. because of stress & tension). At times, it makes us behave unnaturally. On the other hand, fear drives away our laziness, makes us careful creatures & good future planners.

So, the key is to differentiate necessary & unnecessary fears. Fear of punishment (e.g. murder, robbery, copying in exams etc.) goes to "necessary" bucket i.e. always fear to do wrong. Clear "unnecessary" categories: things on which we don't have any control (e.g. earth would be hit by a meteor, germs in your just-cleaned hand etc); hiding our true personality (e.g. fear that someone will stamp us ignorant) - i.e. no need to fear for being natural & ourself; unproven & non-experiential stories (e.g. darkness, ghosts etc). [Just reminded of this: the phrase "God fearing" is an excellent selling point for Grooms in matrimonial advertisements. My belief: "fearing God" goes to the "unnecessary" category. Unless you experience , don't fear, instead pray Him out of Love, if you believe in God. Once you experience, it's your choice!] The problematic area is the gray section - E.g. Fear of exam is both good (makes you study at least 1 day before the exam) and bad (tension leading to poor performance!), Fear of death - Good (insurance for your dependents) & bad (Never makes one enjoy the exciting white water rafting, mountain climbing). In such cases, try to answer whether the fear helps or hinders the improvement / experience / enjoyment of self & others. To summarize, the litmus test to differentiate the fears - (a) Punishable? (b) Not controllable? (c) Being yourself? (d) Unproven & Not experienced? (e) Helps or Hinders?

Half the job is done with the differentiation. Nevertheless, the 2nd half is not that easy. Fear might emerge from our subconscious mind and hence simply telling ourself "don't fear! don't fear!!" at the surface level may not help. Head-on fight with the fear or denying the reality might not help. First, we need to be aware that we fear, observe the sensations because of fear. Few ways to tackle the fear: (a) From the PAST angle - awareness that fear is unnatural & is shaped by just our experience and that there are many other people who don't fear them; don't believe everything that we hear, read and see (b) From PRESENT - Engage in some activity that we like; Pass on the fear to someone else - God / Guru / Our loved ones / Our Higher self, if we believe any of them (c) From FUTURE view point - Big picture view - will my fear help in anyway to serve a higher purpose; Awareness that the uncertainty can't be ruled out because of our fear & that we can't take control of everything; Realize that it's just uncertainty, outcome is not yet known, one can worry if the outcome turns out to be negative instead of worrying about it even before it has happened. Another way is to understand the stem of fear and tackle it: (a) Death - everyone will die one day (b) Failure / Rejection - What's life without ups and downs - Trying & failing is a lot better (c) Ego - Better to be a known devil than an unknown god (d) Losing external entity - one doesn't even have complete control on oneself; Nothing is permanent in this world.

Yeah, similar to many of my earlier posts, all these methodologies seem simpler on paper, but it needs lots of effort and prudence to be fearless than being driven by the Force called Fear.

Mobile Business

As of Sep 2007, there are 210mn mobile subscribers in India and is expected to go up by 300mn by 2008, which translates to 25-30% mobile penetration - pretty impressive for a once-termed "poor country". From a school student (Knowledge Management, Strategic Planning for homework) to auto-walas (Customer Relationship Management) to street-shop-vendors (Supply Chain Management), mobile is a big boon - It has fundamentally changed the way certain people do business!

Wait.. the post is not about mobile phones, rather about interesting "mobile business" in the world's largest Railways network - Yes, within moving, day trains of Indian Railways. Yeah, they offer various categories of products: (a) Eatables (Major chunk!) - full-time food, beverages, snacks, fruits; (b) Entertainment / play items targeting children; (c) Personal care - Flowers (yes, women in south India like to get down from train fresh with flowers), (d) Fancy products like bangles, ear-rings, key chains etc; (e)Education / Recreation - Books, newspaper, magazines; (f) Textiles.

Apart from food, all the other categories are sold by hawkers. Selling process is heavily dependent on the impulsive buying behavior. Here is a sample: books by small local publishers (printed in cheap paper, priced Rs. 10-20, with attractive titles for a typical middle class) and pirated DVDs - the selling process is quite interesting - Seller brings a bundle of products & hand it over to you saying you don't need to buy but can just flip through them. Three problems with these businesses: (1) Unlawful, since no permission from Railways (2) Disturbance to travelers (3) some are sub-quality products. The other side of story is different: it's rice & rasam for poor fellows doing these businesses; good & useful time-pass for travelers (esp. for the Indian middle class which doesn't spend much time on shopping! - But metro women are fast catching up with people abroad!!). So, rather than banning them altogether, Railways can promote them after carefully eliminating the problems.

So, here are few suggestions:

Simple:

• IRCTC has done a wonderful job w.r.t. food - they can extend it to other categories
  
• Strict rules to prohibit the sale of unlawful products like pirated DVDs, books etc
  
• Provide movable trolleys for the sellers
• Have big TVs similar to buses
• License to sellers of different product categories
• Sell those frequently used in trains - locks, chain, tooth brush, playing cards etc
  

Ambitious:

• Dedicate a coach or a part of it as "Mobile Shopping" - Have mini-shops as in exhibition - People can walk in for shopping during travel
  
• "Movie Theater Coach" - Designate and design a coach as theater running multiple shows per day - People can get tickets for the latest movie shown in the mobile theater
  
• Short education / training / seminar sessions - e.g. cooking, oil painting, basic computer, spoken english, personality development, yoga, meditation, dance, table etiquette, vedic mathematics, abacus
  
• Mobile Restaurant
• Aquarium, museum, gaming zones etc
• Library / Reading room / Book shop
• Recreation hall with chess and other board games
• Spa / Massage, beauty parlor
  

Yeah, all these sound exciting, but economic viability & customer interest are questionable and hence needs a more thorough analysis. Even more pertinent question to ask is "will Railways be able to implement and maintain them well?" [We all know of one service which is maintained very badly in every coach! ;)]

All these are fine and might get implemented in future, but one should never miss the beauty of country side and the fun of watching innumerable interesting things sitting in a moving train! :)


PS: Shall explore business opportunities in stations/platforms in a different post!

The 4Cs: Case of "Cause-Consequence-Confusion-Cycle"

Though we frequently say "don't confuse cause and effect", many a times, it's difficult to understand whether the something is a cause or a consequence. At times each one feeds to the other to form a cycle.

A few examples

• Chicken & Egg
• Supply & Demand
• Poverty & Illiteracy
• [some people] Success & Being motivated
• [few others] Success & Failure
• [few more] Diffidence & Failure
  
• Happiness & Helping others
• Happiness & Having fun
  
• Mistakes & Frustration
• Anger & Unhappiness
• Learning & Being Passionate
• Learn & Experience (oh, that's why they call "learning experience!?")
  
• A little different: Love & Marriage
  
• In relationships: Talking & (mis)understanding
  
• Friends & Celebrations

In many cases, it's very tough to halt the cycle, once it starts (be it positive or negative) - The key is to realize how & when to break (for negative) or feed (for positive) the cycle to make it favorable for us and others.

The Gud Gut Feeling!

My bike got rejuvenated after 4-months. My passionate blacky was smiling like a newborn baby - Fresh and cherubic. Throwing away my laziness, I had decided to renew the insurance for my sweety.. The person who was examining the bike was a little surprised to look at my shining baby and couldn't relate it to the purchasing date. [Had he seen it before a couple of days, he would have thought twice before issuing the insurance]. While driving, I was being extra-cautious in making sure that my baby doesn't get hurt. [I always tend to drive slowly and safely for atmost 2-weeks, after my bike gets serviced].

My pet was taken inside the much-cramped S.P.Road in B'lore [One of the busiest places in b'lore, which is popular for electronic items - I had gone there to get an UPS and an SMPS and a dozen blank DVDs that I had planned to write using my new lappie and to repair my dad's favorite DVD player]. [SP Road is similar to Ritchie Street in Chennai] I was looking in all directions for an empty parking lot like a begger waiting for people to come out of the temple. No way... I couldn't find anything.. There was a narrow lane - Lots of bikes were parked there - No "No Parking!" signal.. I started thinking "Can I park here?." Something inside me (ppl might call it "guts", "listening to heart", "the Being", "the unconscious" etc) just alarmed me "Dont park it here.. it's not safe!" I was good enough to ignore the warning thanks to my laziness or impatience. It was getting longer than expected, since I didn't know where to repair the DVD player and that the archaic AT cabinet SMPS wasn't available anywhere.. Finally landed up in a service shop with 2 people sitting in the middle of a ocean of CD/DVD players.. I was simply impressed by the skills they were showing in tearing apart the players and of course repairing/servicing them.. :) After an hour, they noted that most of the components in our player have gone bad and it's not worth repairing it.. I just phoned my dad and asked him to use the all-new hi-fi system instead of the old player.. He accepted it half-heartedly..

I was done with my work. Came back to the place where I had parked my bike. Bhoooom!!!! Bike was missing!!!!!!! Oh, my goodness!! Somebody had taken or moved or looted it!! Whatever, one part of my mind was trying to find where my bike was and the other part was laughing at me and saying "I warned you earlier!". I was told by the near-by shop-keeper that the "Tiger-Force" normally comes and takes away lots of bikes from those streets.. The picture of lorries with ropes to pull-in the bikes/cars (that are parked in "No parking" slots) came to my mind.. I was told I had to visit the near by police station to get my bike (but was not sure that it would be there..) The traffic constable told me I had to pay Rs.300 as fine - I was just keen on searching my bike among the dozen bikes that were brought in by the "Tiger-Force". A huge surge of contentment, when I saw my bike.. My horse was being roped.. After paying the fine, it was released.. It was looking at me and asked - "You idiot, you didn't listen to your heart! That timely spark!! You were given an alert! How dare can you ignore them!! You know.. How I was ill-treated by these stupid people.. I feel shame to serve you!" I was feeling compassionate towards this little innocent baby and I had to console it by saying "Sorry dear.. Will make sure that these kind of things don’t happen in future.. really sorry!"

10 Anjali

Came across this wonderful Quote...

"When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bands - your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dominant forces, faculties and talent become alive and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed"

- PATANJALI

Word, the Sword

Words are like swords. We can't perform certain operations efficiently (E.g. Communicating/Cutting) without them. On the other hand, both of them could be disastrous, if misused.

Thirukkural captures it beautifully

Could be translated as

"The fire-burnt wounds do find a cure
Tongue-burnt wound rests a running sore."

Words.. They were the basis for languages - Today, I couldn't think of a world without language or words. But, words could cause lots of confusion and jeopardize good relationships. This week, had a pretty bad experience of (a) Watching too much on other's words (b) Not watching properly on my own words. Generally, I dont do these - But dont know how it all happened - Just a bad day. Too err is humane, but repeating it is foolishness. Hope I'm a bit more careful in future.

BTB, it seems like most of my blog entries are related to 2 of the 4 Ls - Life & Love. In future, would try to have equal distribution of all the 4 Ls :o)

Man, The Poem

"Read Man, he is the Living Poem" says Dr. Vivek, who did his PhD from Kanyakumari Rocks.

I like Swami Vivekanda very very much - For the simple reason that he is simple, inspite of his Greatness. It's not just Vivekanda, I can admire at - There are so many Vivekandas still living with us. Everyone has Vivekanandaism, but just that some people have it hidden & they do not want or not know how to unclutter the coverings that hide the V-ism.

Sometimes, I am pretty amazed at people - Their altruism, attitudes, ideas, actions, creations, abilities, efforts, determination, perseverance, friendliness, determination, hardwork etc etc.. There are so many wonderful people around us - Mothers who take care of children selflessly, Friends who love unconditionally, Gandhis who work relentlessly for others, Kalams who sacrifice their life for nation, RP Ma'ams who devote their life for students and teaching... The list goes on & on...

There is so much of positiveness around us - Just that we need to see with our eyes wide open. If we do so, there won't be any negativism or hatred among the human beings.

Love Vs Lust

Apart from the fact that both of them start with an "L" and have 4 letters, they are quite some differences...

Lust	Love
Makes one Lethargic	Makes one Energetic
Treats the person as an Object	Treats the person as a Being
Failure would make one angry & frustrated	Failure could cause pain
Pleasure only at that moment	Makes one joyful, *not* just that moment
Makes one selfish - Feeling that "What will I get out of this?"	One puts the other person first - Feeling that "How could I be helpful!"
Could make one Destructive	Would make one Constructive and Artistic

Procrastination!

Procrastination has shown its evil face to me today!

Just thinking about why we procatinate - I know of 3 possible reasons (1) Mammoth Task (2) Non-Interesting task (3) Laziness

#1 - can be solved by being a bit methodic, following "Divide & Conquer" & seeking help from others

#2 - it's good idea to analyze whether to do or ditch the task *ASAP*. On the +ve side, sometimes, the tendency to procastinate might give you clue that you are not destined to do this. ;-)

Both for #2 & #3 - If the task is unavoidable, we might need to realize the hard fact that "Its ill effects are exponentially proportional to the duration & frequency of procrastination." So try doing it the moment, your mind thinks of procrastination.

I can hear someone say "Preaching is easier than Following..!!" :o)

4L

First Blog! Should be a Sweet one!!
What else could be Sweeter than the College Life & Friends?

• The amazing "CEGCSE99" gang & the special Final Year! :)
• CSE Dept & RP, Shanti, Uma Ma'am TRIO
• SH/LH/Bodhi
• Projects, Tests, S^3
• Movies, Culturals - aBaCUS, TechoFes, Agni
  
• Hostel, Mess, TV Hall, Cricket Matches!
  
• Card, 12 Midnight, cake and importantly BUMPS
• 11 AM, 4 PM, 7 PM, 11 PM, 2 AM and rarely 4 AM (Canteen timings!)
• HHonda Passion
• Durai
  
• Sis
  
• 4L
• ...
  

The end of the Golden period...


A bit concerning that not all my college friends are in the photo..
Doesn't matter... They are all in my heart! ;-)

The Golden Period was followed by an equally good "Platinum".
"Pt" in a future blog!